Your journey in 2018

  • What do you want to see and experience along the way?
  • Who is travelling with you?
  • What are you really looking forward to?
  • How do you want to feel?

I have decided wherever my road takes me, the journey is going to be an easy one. Easy is my word for 2018.

After all it’s easy if I think it is.

Neets
Coach, Communicator & Collaborator
eight circles

 

 

It’s not about perfection – it’s about correction

Is my new favourite personal mantra especially when I’m learning something new or focusing on improving something in my life.

I’ve realised that perfection is overrated, it’s the enemy of getting things done and more than that it stops us living fully and enjoying life.

I’m embarrassed to say that I was one of those people who gave ‘being a perfectionist’ as my flaw in interviews back in the 80’s thinking I sounded cool and hard working.

Eventually I woke up to how limiting and joyless striving for perfection is. And still, under stress, I default to trying too hard to get it right – hence this mantra is on a yellow sticky note above my desk.

This phrase keeps me going because it gives me permission to do the new thing less than perfectly and to expect to fail a few times before I start to get the hang of it. I have learnt that any change that matters requires me to get out of my comfort zone – to actually do something differently, and that always feels uncomfortable.

It reminds me that making mistakes is part of the process of learning because only by experiencing what doesn’t work and making a correction do I grow and improve.

Awareness is everything and when I notice I’m off course, I’m kinder to myself and by not wasting time on self judgment I can correct what’s not working and move on.

Life seems less serious too, lighter and more fun – like a series of personal experiments by my crazy inner scientist!

Try it out for yourself.

What mantra will you create to help you move forward this week?

“You don’t learn to walk by following rules. You learn by doing, and by falling over.” Sir Richard Branson

Carol Conway CPCC
Coach & Collaborator
eight circles

Is there only one way?

We all have regular habits and ways of doing things.

Whether it’s the way you brush your teeth, the route you take to work or how you plan a project.

Today we’ve been discussing the benefits of more than one way?

Think about it, you have something you want to achieve or get done, there’s your way – the way you normally do it and then there’s my way and how I normally do it – it’s more than likely that both will be different. And yet both will achieve the result you want.

So, is there really only one way?

 

Neets
Coach, Communicator & Collaborator
eight circles

 

Three reasons why everyone needs a coach

It was 2004 when I first worked with a coach. I’m proud to say my coach at that time was Gabriella Goddard (the founder of www.brainsparker.com).

I still remember how I felt at every session, one-hour to focus on me and what I wanted to discuss – it was a breather from my corporate life! The sessions helped me to make sense of my scrambled brain and life, and I realised over time that they weren’t that scrambled at all.

Gabriella had my back and that felt so safe and comforting. It allowed me to open up, really get clear, find out new things about myself and actually get stuff done. She kept me on track and moving forward.

I was so impressed with my coaching and the results I achieved that I decided to train as a Co-Active Coach®

Today I’m lucky enough to work with two wonderful colleagues at eight circles and we all agree that these are the three things we do for our clients and why we feel everyone needs a coach at some point in their life.Neets
Coach, Communicator & Collaborator
eight circles

 

Three reasons to have a scrappy conversation

A scrappy conversation is a bit bitty, a sketchy take on a subject that doesn’t yet make sense. The permission to be scrappy means I can just blurt what’s on my mind however disorganised my thinking – definitely not perfect – it’s messy with no pressure to find a tidy solution and that’s what works!

As someone who needs to articulate what’s on my mind to make sense of it. I’ve frequently fallen foul (especially in corporate life) of speaking before I’m ready and immediately regretting not presenting my idea more coherently or sensitively. As a result, if a subject felt difficult I’d hold back, telling myself ‘I’m not ready,’ and then miss the opportunity to contribute my idea or make my point.

Scrappy conversations have changed all of this for me.

They’re a way of signalling that it’s OK to just talk, to express what you’re thinking and feeling about a subject in the moment, without it having to be thought through and set in stone forever. It’s a great way to dream out loud or express what worries you about a situation.

“Can we have a scrappy conversation about this?” says my husband, “sure,” I say, with relief. We’re talking about where we’re going on holiday next year, a difficult subject for us because often we want different things from our time off. He likes a city break and doing lots of activities, I like some relaxation too with at least a few days near the sea or a pool.

Our time is precious and depending when the subject is raised the pressure to agree and make a decision can lead to an unsatisfactory outcome – aka an argument! Usually this is because one of us is distracted, not really sure what we want so we try to delay the conversation, or don’t engage with it fully and then we start to compromise and no one wins.

Here are my three reasons for a scrappy conversation:

  1. Where there’s a subject that’s difficult to talk about with someone, like my holiday scenario. A bit like a mini brainstorm it can unlock a problem and because people know it’s meant to be imperfect they don’t get all ‘judgy.’
  2. When your own thoughts about something aren’t fully formed and you need help from a listening ear to get things straight in your head.
  3. When you sense that someone has something on their mind and isn’t talking about it. It takes a bit of courage and curiosity but gets to the heart of an issue more quickly and moves it along.

I use scrappy conversations with my coaching clients whenever I feel there’s something they want to say but don’t quite know where to start. Being scrappy gives them permission to blurt it out, and strangely, once voiced issues aren’t ever as scary as they seemed.

Who can you have a scrappy conversation with?

Just start the conversation with ‘can we have a scrappy conversation about this?’ and see where it goes…

 

Carol Conway CPCC
Coach & Collaborator
eight circles

What is your word worth?

This is something I have been debating with friends and family for the past two weeks.

What is your word worth?

We all seem to be:

  • doing more – just look at your to do list, your experiences and don’t even mention the holiday planning!
  • being more – how many roles are you playing? mum, dad, friend, partner, sibling, boss, colleague and of course add in your job title!

Have we lost focus on our word to ourselves?

I was once described by a colleague and boss as being ‘reliably reliable’ at the time I didn’t see this as a compliment, I just thought wow that sounds like I’m boring. Today (and 10 years on from that conversation) I’m proud to be called ‘reliably reliable’.

More often than not, if I say I’m going to do something for someone I do it – I allow very few things to get in the way. What I’ve realised is my word is worth more when it’s for other people (can you relate too?) – when it’s about helping them, making them feel great, making things easy for them, keeping them company. Don’t get me wrong I love doing all these things – no one is twisting my arm or forcing me to do something I don’t want to.

It did get me thinking though, what is my word worth to me?

Honestly, I feel I’ve got better at keeping my word for myself – however, it’s a daily exercise in being aware – of what I am doing and what I am thinking. Sometimes I can be swayed by the allure of a new movie over updating my web page or talking to a friend over going to yoga. I have realised that these are conscious decisions I am making (before I used to make them on auto-pilot). I guess it all comes down to choice and what’s more important to me in that moment.

So, what is your word worth – to you?

Neets
Coach, Communicator & Collaborator
eight circles

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave