What happens when I unpack things!

fullsizerender-2Today I had a realisation and here’s how it came about.

At midday my new bathroom cabinet arrived yay – it’s exactly what I wanted!

Over the years I’ve noticed that I’m a visual person and if I have things stored away I can easily forget that they are there – out of sight out of mind! This led me to the decision to buy this specific glass cabinet, as I wanted to see all the stuff I had – stay with me my point is coming soon.

So, I got the duster and polish and began cleaning the new cabinet before I stocked it full of my beauty and skincare products (yes I know, I do love products – SpaceNK and Boots are both my friends lol). I gathered my three boxes of products and emptied some drawers and put it all on the floor.

Next, I spent an hour unpacking and oohing and ahhing over the products I hadn’t seen for a while. I arranged them in order of product type – yes I am the arranging geek – everything has to be just so otherwise it messes with my chi!

Pleased with the results I then went off to do some work for a few hours and every time I saw the cabinet sitting proud fully stocked I felt a huge sense of relief that I could see everything.

And then ping, my realisation – I really can’t see things if they are packed away in boxes and what if I’ve packed away the stuff in my mind too – all those things I’ve done, achieved, learnt and know. What if I’ve boxed them away as I’ve moved on to the next thing.

It sparked a thought…

What if I unpacked all the things in my mind, the things I’m capable of and laid them out on shelves in a glass cabinet? (so to speak)

What would be possible? would I see the resources I have? do I have too much of one thing and not enough of the other? if something were missing could I go out, get it and stock up?

Nx

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Neena GraduationOn 19 January 2017
Graduating with First Class Honours from University of Leicester
My eldest son Arran, me and my husband Stuart


So Saturday 4 February 2017 was World Cancer Day but actually for many, Cancer Day is every day.

Six years ago, Cancer Day was everyday for a period of 18 months for my family and me. Whilst I am unable to recall the status of fundraising, new breakthroughs or latest trials at the time, I am able to tell you (even with my ‘chemo brain’) of the support and empathy I received on a daily basis. It was immeasurable and presented itself in very many forms: a short message, a knowing smile, a card through the post, a phone call, a visit, a lunch date, taking my children out for a day, treating my husband to respite, conversations reassuring my parents and sharing positivity and joy amidst a landscape of fear and uncertainty.

Once touched by cancer it can become omnipresent. Regulating yourself to accept and integrate cancer into your view of the future releases new opportunities, difficult though it is. My oncologist at the time, Justin Stebbing, discussed with me the importance of sharing my cancer journey openly with my children. I recall being horrified as my maternal instincts kicked in; my whole worldview was about shielding them rather than sharing with them.  Throughout my treatment I obviously benefitted from Justin’s knowledge and experience but also enormously through his Emotional Intelligence; empathy, motivation and how he engaged with me.

My family and friends made a difference through the smallest of gestures and investment of emotion. So rather than think of the enormity of cancer and struggle with how you alone can make a difference, take some time out to make a call, arrange a coffee/lunch/dinner, baby-sit, dog walk, drop off a magazine or just find time to listen – and not just with those that are suffering directly. One of the side effects of dealing with cancer is you become so focused on your personal journey that you become blind to the journey others are taking with you.

Whereas context and perspective may change you never forget cancer. My emotional resilience continues to develop and teaches me how to accept and integrate my experience going forward.

Just as cancer has no boundaries or limits apply these same parameters to your emotional contribution. Your emotional donation is invaluable and will always be remembered.

For this I am fortunate and very grateful.

Neena Speding

 

 

 

 

Celebrate the small stuff…

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Today I was driving through the torrential rain on the motorway. Hardly able to see where I was going, I clutched the steering wheel as the spray from the lorries and large vehicles drown my little car. I finally came off at the junction nearest me where I breathed a very large sigh of relief and loosened my grip on the steering wheel a little.

From there I have a short 15 minute journey home through the countryside and here’s what I realised…we always celebrate the big stuff but what about the small stuff? Are we so busy focusing on the big things that the everyday things just pass us by?

Here’s the small stuff I decided to celebrate today:

  • That I woke up…
  • I could hear the rain falling on the roof of my home
  • I had hot water and heating
  • My postman is friendly and delivered my 2017 diary cover
  • I could walk to my car
  • I got tickets to the next Star Wars movie
  • I spoke to two friends
  • The autumn leaves were falling from the trees
  • I made it home through all the rain!

What small stuff did you celebrate today?

Nx

Shift the weight!

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As you know we like to share and here’s the latest thing we’re doing.

Both Carol and I signed up for the Oprah and Deepak Chopra Shedding the Weight – 21 day meditation experience which is free.

What’s interesting is that they talk about weight and how it’s not just about physical weight, it’s also about losing some of the baggage we carry around with us in terms of our emotions and thoughts.

I was sceptical at first about doing the meditation – and yet somehow I feel a little clearer everyday and Carol is enjoying getting a fresh insight and perspective every morning.

I’ve created a lovely little routine around it where I start getting ready – listen to Oprah and Deepak introduce that days meditation and then relax and get comfortable once the meditation starts – which lasts about 10 minutes.

If you’re curious here’s the link, you have nothing to lose and maybe something will shift a little!

https://chopracentermeditation.com

Have fun,

Neets & Carol

Real life

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This picture made me smile, I’m a visual person and I now have a paintbrush in my mind to paint over those negative thoughts when they arise. After all I’m a work in progress, we’re all work in progress as we never remain the same.

We evolve, we grow, shrink, stay still, move.

We’re bold, shy, loud, silent.

We’re positive, negative, sometimes we’re indifferent.

We listen, judge, advise, ignore.

We’re happy, sad, high, low or even meh!

Whatever we are, however we are, we’re all connected – this is real life.

I’m living it, are you?

Nx

 

 

 

Decisions, decisions, decisions…

StuffSo, for the past six months I’ve been living with my very kind friends The Conway’s, whilst I look for my next home.

For those of you that know me – you know that I’m normally very decisive, and for some reason finding my next home has been filled with indecision, rigid thinking and yo-yoing.

Six months ago I was sure I wanted a house, an old 2 bedroom Victorian or Edwardian house with a bathroom upstairs, off road parking and a small garden within my budget. Now you’d think that a 1 hour travel radius from Windsor would offer up some possibilities…errr no!

Then four months ago I broadened my thinking and dabbled with the idea that I could live in a new house, so off I went looking at new houses – I did find some I liked, in fact they are easier to find than old houses. I was lured in by the newness, all shiny, bright and ready to move into – something wasn’t quite right though – I just wasn’t feeling that love it or hate it feeling within the first 30 seconds of stepping inside that Phil & Kirstie from location, location, location talk about.

Two months ago – Some days I was looking for a house and other days I was looking for a flat, some days I wanted a garden and other days I couldn’t imagine having to maintain a garden and deal with the visiting cats! Some days I wanted enough space to accommodate everyone and everything, other days I wanted a really small simple place.

Today my checklist has changed – here’s where I’m at. What’s even more important than my new home itself is how I feel, that:

  • I still have freedom and choice to do the things I want
  • I’m close to my friends & family
  • I can walk to either a High Street or town
  • I feel safe and secure
  • There are people around – I’m all about staying connected
  • I love where I live

My search continues – I know this means I may need to let go of some of my stuff and prized possessions e.g. my shoe collection and you know what I’m ok with that!

In reality I’ve lived with very little for the past six months, so how much do I really need? How much do any of us really need?

I read something today that resonated with me.

“Clutter is no more than postponed decisions”

Time and space has given me a chance to see what really matters to me…thank you to The Conway’s!

Decision made!

Nx

A poem…

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Tight, bright, trying to bloom;

softening, opening, grounding

myself – allowing room,

for who? for what?

Small, tall, trying to grow;

breathing, feeling, healing

myself – accepting slow

progress, why not?

Yearning, learning, trying to change;

stopping, noticing, being

myself – experiencing range,

connection, don’t stop!

Being, seeing, knowing I’m she;

beautiful, powerful, full of

myself – loving, courageous, free,

me, authentically me.


Dedicated to Kimberly and Robyn who inspired and challenged me to write a poem! Honouring that life’s a journey, celebrating being vulnerable.

Thank you Neets for listening and encouraging us all by sharing what you know.