Missing the point

It all started with the Aurora Borealis – it was right outside my door, literally. How amazing! Right? Wrong! I missed it.

We live in downtown Anchorage, Alaska and even here it was all anyone could talk about – how fantastic and unusual to see the Aurora from the city.  

The next day I was looking forward to hiking with friends and despite the snow and a chill in the air, I packed up my backpack with snacks and extra warm layers and drove off to the meeting point. On arrival I knew something was wrong. My sat nav had taken me into the middle of nowhere (not difficult in Alaska!) I was bang on time but there was no one to be seen. When I called the hike leader I discovered I was half an hour away from the meeting point. I’d missed the hike!

My week of missing continued… I lost a treasured earring; an important email disappeared from my sent box; on Friday I felt dizzy and light-headed, so I stayed home missing dinner with friends.

As I sat on the sofa on my own, feeling sorry for myself I caught myself wondering – what am I going to miss out on next? Maybe there was more to this.

What was I missing?

The next day, despite feeling slightly silly, I asked a good friend for help and recounted my story asking for her insight.

She had a different take on things – instead of ‘missing’ what she saw was a lack of being present and my light-headedness as my body’s way of telling me to stop and get grounded. A light bulb went on for me as I viewed my story from a new perspective.

Negative thinking is a natural default for all of us – it’s evolution’s way of keeping us safe but that doesn’t mean we have to believe all our thoughts. If you notice you’re stuck in a negative thought loop – know you’re not alone – take a pause and try on a new perspective.

“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage.”
Brené Brown

Who could you ask for help with your thinking?


Carol Conway CPCC
Coach & Collaborator
eight circles